Just fell off a train. Bad.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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