hotel room ftw
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
