is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
