Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You were trust falling into bushes
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
