Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just pee around me
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize