It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
