I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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