she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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