Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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