im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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