A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Girls should come with a carfax report
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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