remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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