So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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