Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Randomize
