Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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