I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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