my sisters under your porch take her home
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
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