I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
