somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I understand Curling. That high.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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