Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
