I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
foreskin is a definite game changer
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
