Whod you bang
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
