I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize