She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
NoShamevember. You game?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
