kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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