Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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