sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
