i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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