She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
