she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
