i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
