I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
