So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
