also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
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i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
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I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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