Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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