I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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