help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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