I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
third nipple confirmed
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
