He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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