you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize