You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
