i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
