I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
