there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
