I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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