I like my sex mixed with concussions.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Im part way to drunk.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
