its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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