I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
