Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
