he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
