we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
