she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Of course I have a pirate flag
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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