I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize