There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
