I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize