I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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