You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
