he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
