Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
