He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
