yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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