My liver just broke up with me...
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize