I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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