did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
