Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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