If that was your dad, he is hot
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
