I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.