I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I don't want my vagina anymore.