i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.