didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry