I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
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At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Less talking, more tequila
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He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking